Things I Learned About My Bride

Bob, Steve, Betsy, Carolyn and Mickey. October 17, 2009.

Betsy and I got back from her brother’s memorial service late Sunday afternoon.  It was a quick trip, but we’re both glad that we went.

Since Ray had been in declining health for some time, his death was somewhat anticipated.  As a result the memorial service was more a celebration of Ray’s life than a service of mourning.  Many people, family and friends, shared memories of Ray and the way he touched their lives.

Betsy’s three nephews and one of her nieces were at the service, and they did a lot of catching up and reminiscing after the service.  I learned  several things about my bride that I didn’t know.

Since Ray was 20 years old when Betsy was born, she became an aunt at a very early age.  I knew that, of course, but what I didn’t know was some of the things that my bride did when entertaining her nephews and nieces during visits their visits to Big Stone Gap, Virginia.  I heard stories of races down the hill from Betsy’s house to the church downtown.  Even more interesting were expeditions to explore neighbor’s basements — even when the neighbors weren’t home!

I always knew Betsy was a leader, but Bob, Steve, Mickey and Carolyn described a ring leader.  And to think Betsy was a preacher when I met her!

Sunday with Family

Wes, Darlene (John's sister), Betsy, Bonnie (cousin), John (Carol's husband) and Carol. Fall Creek Falls, October 10, 2009.

If you read Betsy’s blog you know that she has had a couple of her cousins visiting for the weekend.  Saturday was a ‘Girls Day Out’, which can read about HERE.

Yesterday they allowed the men to accompany them to Fall Creek Falls State Park for a lunch buffet.  I suspect we men were allowed to go along so someone would be there to pick up the tab.  But be that as it may, the dinner was absolutely delicious.  If you ever have a chance to eat a meal at Tennessee state park, I encourage you to do so.  (End of commercial!).

Since  Fall Creek Falls is a favorite of ours we had to take Bonnie (from Florida), Carol (from Michigan) and Carol’s husband John on a tour to show them five of our favorite waterfalls.  (Okay, one is technically a cascade, but it is still pretty).

After several rainy, cloudy days we actually had some sunshine and beautiful blue skies.  Even better, we saw significant autumn color for the first time this season.

All in all it was a gorgeous day and I think we may have some visitors returning to Tennessee fairly soon.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Dad with his birthday cake, Hendersonville, Tennessee. August 28, 2009.

Today is my Dad’s birthday.

Yesterday Betsy and I went to Hendersonville to check on my parents and to help them out in any way that we can.  While we were there we wrote checks for them and  took them to do their grocery shopping.  I even helped Dad put  in a new vanity in their bathroom.  We didn’t quite get finished with the job — the rest of it will have to wait until our next trip over.

While we were there we also celebrated Dad’s 97th birthday (a day early).  We took Mom and Dad out for lunch and he got a big brownie and ice cream as a birthday treat.  Fortunately it was so big that he shared it with the rest of us.  It was delicious.

When we got back to their house, a member of their Sunday School class called to say she wanted to come over to wish Dad a happy birthday.  She came over with a birthday hat, homemade birthday cake and a loaf of homemade bread.  The candle on the cake was supposed to be one of those candles that can’t be blown out, but Dad managed to do it.

I don’t think Dad is planning on slowing down now that he is a year older (or perhaps I should say younger).  One of the things we helped him do yesterday was order some blackberry plants.  He wants some fresh blackberries on his ice cream next spring!

Happy birthday, Dad.

Helping Dad

Dad at home, Hendersonville, Tennessee. February 27, 2009.

When I was growing up, Dad could fix or do just about anything.  Did we have an electrical problem?  No need to call an electrician — Dad fixed it.  Trouble with the plumbing?  No problem, Dad could get it fixed.  Do we need an addition to our house?  Dad could do it himself.

When they moved to Hendersonville in 1963, my parents bought a house with an unfinished basement.  Dad finished the basement himself, making a separate living unit with kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, utility room and living room.  Since it was much easier to heat and cool than the upstairs, they moved downstairs several years ago.  You can see part of the kitchen Dad built in the background of the picture above.

I never thought of Dad being unsure about what to do with any fix-it project.  I guess that’s what is so sad about the present situation.  My parents had a leak in the plumbing behind their washing machine.  Dad knew he couldn’t fix it (he’s now legally blind), but he didn’t want to call a plumber before I saw the situation.  That’s why Betsy and I went to Hendersonville yesterday (Monday).

We called a plumber who will go to my parent’s house this (Tuesday) morning.  Betsy and I will go back and hopefully get there before the plumber leaves.  Hopefully we can help Dad get the answer to any questions he might have and feel comfortable with the repairs that are made.  We’ll also help Mom and Dad with their weekly errands and chores.

I find it hard to get used to the idea of my Dad needing my help.  My Dad?  No Way!!

I’m glad we can help out.  It’s just sad that he so obviously needs our help.

A Family Visit

Sean crossing a creek on rocks instead of using the bridge. July 10, 2009.

We had a wonderful visit with my son, Bob, and grandson, Sean, on Friday and Saturday.  They were staying, along with my son’s girlfriend, Mel,  and her son, Zack, at a condo in the North Carolina mountains owned by Mel’s parents.

Zack is older than Sean, so Sean has an ‘older brother’ to play with and do things with.  We were impressed at how well the two boys got along and how well they cooperated at doing their chores together.

We met them on Friday morning at Pink Beds, a picnic area in Pisgah National Forest.  After a short hike and a delicious picnic lunch, we went to nearby Sliding Rock.  Sliding Rock is a naturally occurring 60-foot waterslide with an eight-foot deep pool that has been developed into a recreation area by the US Forest Service.

Bob and Sean at Sliding Rock. July 10, 2009.

When we got to Sliding Rock there were many people enjoying the slide (but even more were watching).  While we were there the water temperature was about 50°, but that didn’t deter Bob and the boys, as you can see from the picture above.  They went down the slide twice, but then Sean decided that was enough.  As he explained, the was COLD!

After everyone got changed into dry clothes we then drove to the condo northeast of Asheville, NC.  There Bob and Mel were perfect hosts and prepared a delicious meal.  The condo is an absolutely gorgeous area and some of those views will be the subject of future posts.

Dad

Dad at Floyd and Marty's house. July, 1963.

The picture above is a scan of a slide made in the summer of 1963.  The man is my father, and he is taking movies of a family gathering.  We were at the home of my aunt and uncle (Dad’s younger brother).  Dad’s sister was there as well, as were my brothers and sister and various cousins.

I’m very fortunate in that my Dad is still with us — he’ll be 97 in August.  The event at which the picture was taken was a farewell party given for my parents.  His company was moving from Gary, Indiana, to Nashville, Tennessee, and although he was only a foreman he was one of six employees who was being moved.

Dad was born in Texas but moved with his parents to Arkansas when he was about six (he’s not sure).  He does remember having his first ice cream cone during the move.  While living in Arkansas he remembers making monthly trips to the store in a horse-drawn wagon.  He also remembers going to camp meetings with his family and falling asleep in the back of the wagon when the services ran long (as they usually did).

I’ve mentioned before that Dad built our house out in the county.  He did almost all the work himself — carpentry, plumbing and electrical.  He worked for a steel-fabricating company in Gary but he also worked our small farm. As my brother and I got older we were given the responsibility of doing the milking and feeding of the livestock.

Dad worked as a general foreman until he reached age 65, when he had to retire.  But he was prepared.  He had taught himself how to repair small appliances and started his own appliance repair business.  One of the high points of his repair business was a Thanksgiving Day call from June Carter Cash!  He went and got their oven working and saved the day for June and Johnny although my Mom’s Thanksgiving Day meal was somewhat delayed.  Mom finally made Dad retire again at age 80.

Dad can’t do all the things he once could do, but he still tries and is still very sharp.  I’m proud to call this man Dad.

A Family Reunion

Mom, Dad, Janet, Ken and me. Gallatin, Tennessee. June 16, 2009.

Last night (Tuesday) we had something of a family reunion.  We went back to the Nashville area (third time in two weeks) to meet Mom and Dad, my little brother Ken, and my baby sister Janet for dinner at Cracker Barrel.  Both Ken and Janet will object to my description, but that is how I think of them.

Janet is ten years younger than I am and lives here in Tennessee.  We take turns (alternate weeks) checking up on Mom and Dad, so we don’t see each other as often as we would like.

Ken is two years younger than I am.  He lives in northern Indiana, so he only gets down here once a year or so.  Since Ken and his wife are down here visiting, Mom and Dad got us all together for a couple of hours, at least.  It doesn’t happen often enough, but it is nice when it happens.

Betsy took the picture above.  Janet’s husband and Ken’s wife were making sure everyone was smiling.

Happy Birthday, Anniversary and Mother’s Day

Mom at Home. February 27, 2009.

As I mentioned yesterday, Betsy and I are leaving today for some time at the beach.  Although we are looking forward to some fun in the sun, we’re sorry to be gone this first week in May.  Today is Mom’s birthday, Tuesday is my parents’  anniversary and of course next Sunday is Mother’s Day.  Betsy and I celebrated with Mom and Dad last year, so this year my sister will be celebrating with them.  We’ll have a belated celebration after we get back from the beach.

Mom is 89 years young  today.  I know I’m slightly prejudiced, but she’s about the nicest person you could ever meet.  She’s a fairly small woman, but she did a great job of raising my brothers and sister.  She has a beautiful alto voice and sang in the church choir for many years.  For as long as I can remember people have commented on her bright smile.  She lost her sight about twenty years ago, but that didn’t slow her down much or cause her to lose that smile.

Mom and Dad. February 27, 2009.

Tuesday will be Mom and Dad’s 69th anniversary.  They got married on a Sunday after the regular church service at Mom’s church and shared a carton of milk as their wedding supper on their way to their new home.  Dad will be 97 in August, and it’s cute to see them holding hands as they walk along.

So Happy Birthday, Mom, and Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.  Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day.

Happy Birthday, Kelly

Kelly enjoying her chocolate birthday cake. Montreat, NC, January 1, 1973.

The beautiful girl in the picture above is my daughter Kelly celebrating her first birthday.

My parents were always very efficient — they raised their own babysitters.  I was ten and my brother was eight when my sister was born.  So I clearly remember my parents talking about wanting two boys and two girls.  But it didn’t work out that way — my sister was followed by another boy.

Fast forward a few years — my parents were looking forward to having a granddaughter to spoil.  My brother got married before I did and had four boys.  My first child was a boy.

But then, on January 1, 1972, Kelly Elizabeth Adams arrived in the world.  She came as a surprise to just about everyone — her mother and I didn’t have any girl’s names picked out.  Kelly made quite an entrance into the world — she was the first baby of the new year in Wabash County, Indiana.  Kelly also showed that she has a mind of her own — she was supposed to be a 1971 tax deduction!

So in the midst of New Year celebrations, I would like to wish my favorite daughter a very happy birthday.  She started recycling birthdays a few years ago, so I can’t tell you how old she is.  But I can tell you that she still likes chocolate.  And by the way, she’s my parent’s only granddaughter.

A Trip to Hendersonville

Betsy and I went to Hendersonville on Tuesday to be with my parents.  The weather was foggy and rainy most of the day which added to our travel time both ways, but we were glad to be able to make the trip.

Mom and Dad, Spring, 2001.

As I mentioned before, Dad is 96 and Mom is 88.  Both are now legally blind, but they both want to stay in their home.  Betsy and I try to help them as much as we can, although part of that help has to be long distance help.

When I was growing up I thought my Dad could do just about anything.  So there is a certain amount of sadness when I need to help him write checks, activate his credit card, or find things in a store.

But there is also joy associated in being with Mom and Dad.  They are both in good spirits and remain active in their church.  And we can see the basic goodness of many people when we are with Mom and Dad.  We take them out to lunch and take them shopping when we go over.  Tuesday we took them to one of their favorite restaurants and a waitress saw us approaching the front door.  She came out and held the door for Mom and Dad and greeted them warmly.  Our friend Judy tells us that the staff at another restaurant treat Mom and Dad like royalty when they eat there.

Mom and Dad have shopped at the same grocery store for over 40 years.  When they get to the checkout there is one clerk who comes around to empty there basket for them.  As she does this she says what each item is and asks if they want that item.  She then helps Dad sign his check (the cash register makes out the check) and sends them off with a good word.

I wish I could thank all of these kind people personally.  But I am glad that I can at least acknowledge their kindnesses, especially at this time of the year.